How I Stopped Trying to Please Everyone and Started Prioritizing Myself

Paolo Coelho once said, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you don’t say ‘no’ to yourself,” and it is quite difficult to neglect this perspective.  When we say ‘no’ to ourselves, we feel empty and numb, instead of happy or grateful.  Trying to please everyone can be draining, stressful and overwhelming; this is what happens when you are too caring, considerate, and kind. People need time to relax in order to recharge and function normally!

Changes need to be made as saying ‘no’ to yourself can be frustrating and sometimes even fatal. In order to recharge your batteries, make an attempt to maintain hobbies, take a nap when needed, volunteer, and write about something.  While you might feel resentful in the beginning, these activities will benefit you in the long run as they enable you to rescue, save, and support yourself.

Here are some of the reasons why you need to stop attempting to please everyone:

1. You’ll lose yourself.

If you are constantly trying to please others, you will turn into a real people-pleaser! While this might seem trivial in the beginning, it will turn you into a different person!  In other words, you will lose yourself.

2. You’ll feel unloved.

If you help too many people and this goes to great lengths, it might be difficult for you to find the support needed to help yourself.  Given that you always have the time to please everyone and support them when needed, most of these people will never expect you to need their support.  This will make you feel unloved and empty in the long run!

3. You’ll create co-dependencies.

As you try to please everyone, the same people will start to depend on you, rely on you, and their life could suffer if you don’t show up.  Think about it and make sure no one becomes so dependent on you.

4. You’ll be vulnerable.

If you are trying hard to please too many people, you will be vulnerable to the shortcoming and the criticism. After all, pleasing literally everyone is impossible to achieve!

5. You’ll damage your health.

Spending too much time and effort pleasing others, you are likely to forget how to keep your health at optimal level.  Alternatively, you could choose not to properly take care of you in order to please more people.

6. You’ll damage yourself.

Once you come to terms with the fact that you cannot please everyone and that you have failed at this,  it might feels as though you don’t even deserve to live. While this might seem monstrous, this type of behavior could end up fatal and lead to suicide.

Most of these problems stem from fear of rejection, lack of self-worth, and pressure. Trying to please everyone could turn into an addiction, which is the reason why people shouldn’t determine their worth by their actions and possessions only.  We must understand that our worth has nothing to do with outside factors; if we treat people with love and kindness, we deserve love and happiness, too!

via: seizepositivity